The Great Conversation I Would Have Had with my Late Mother.

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Mama what is this that I hear about you being a great woman?
Is it because I was so used to you that I considered your efforts normal?
Or am I simply ungrateful for things you have done for me because I grew up in a society where mothers are not celebrated enough?

It was in 1998, my name was called and I walked across open space as I was expected to, the whole school clapped for me, and in the middle of the walk, I felt hands grabbing and lifting me up, and it was you Mama and you were ululating, as the sign of excitement and pride for you last born son, I was shocked, firstly I did not expect my name to be called as highest top achiever amongst standard 1s (Grade 1 in SA, Standard 1 in Lesotho), secondly I had never expected you to show so much pride towards me, for I considered myself a normal child with no special brains or talents, however clearly to you it seemed much more than that. (My naïveté expected you to say it but you showed it Mama, I could have seen it from there but I did not).

I do not have any memory of you coming home from work, or even bringing money home at the end of the month, I do not know if that is because of lack of jobs or extreme poverty we experienced in the rural areas of Lesotho, Having said that I do not remember starving because lack of food, is it because my father brought food? NO!.. it is because my father was a hardworking farmer or owner of livestock? NO!… Because you, Mama was a peasant who never allowed her kids to starve, its still clear in my memories that you used to weed people’s fields and you were compensated with few kilo grams of mealie meal so that we can eat, and you also had a plot of vegetables and I have to say, even today I am yet to meet someone who used to cook moroho as good as well.

My father had succumbed to alcoholism and old age, and by default you assumed the responsibility of being the head of the family without disrespecting or subordinating him.. AND I RESPECT YOU FOR THAT MAMA, and that’s one of the values of life I learned from you, remember the day you the beat the hell out of me for saying my cousin is a dog? For a minute I thought you hated me and favored her, but it took me years to understand that you were straightening me up and not make insults part of my language, and even today im still scared to utter an insult with my mouth, and this is the principle I want to pass to my kids, YOUR GRAND KIDS MAMA, Yes your last born son is now a man who will be soon be having kids, its surreal I know, we both know how amazing it would be if you were to hold the son of your last born son in your hands. Ah anyway, im thankful for all the values you have instilled in me.

Heeeh!! Sooo for some weird reasons you are now accused of killing family members one after another? And you are suddenly a witch!!… I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!. Just like you didnt , I tried to find rationale behind it but I failed. But let’s talk about this.. You were a Christian woman!, you do not believe in muthi AT ALL.. you only believe in prayer and holy water.. Lol yes the one you used to bring from church conferences, and I have to confess, I used to drink it in your absence because I found it sweet. Ok back to our topic, now the family turned against you Mama, neighbors stopped talking to you… people are calling you names. And I am now a son of a witch… in the midst of all these you remained a Christian and praying warrior, I don’t recall even once seeing you break down.. WOMAN!! YOU MUST BE MADE OF STEEL… and now I have to confess, I was now ashamed of being associated with you, let alone being called your son, did you notice that? I doubt… not that I believed those malicious rumors but the shame that of being called son of a witch got to me… But today isn’t about me. So the rumors died down and people started accepting us again within the community, and you remained welcoming to EVERYONE, you continued to treat them like they never treated you like trash… you continued to laugh with those that spread rumors behind you, Well how did you get to do that?? Can you share that secret of accepting people back after they did you bad, with me?… I really need it, for this life is long and it will come handy as life roll on.
I wish I had poetic words to conclude this piece of writing to conclude our conversation but I’m just a hopeless entrepreneur who never cared much about poetry and literature… I know, I know, I know… because of my excellent performance at primary school level and your love for academic education, you would have loved to see me obtain at least one degree from university just like our sister did, oh and did she not make us proud? And you must have heard that your son Qetelo is also a diploma graduate and he is married now.. Lol… Proud moments Mama, proud Moments. So when I got to Gauteng, life hit me hard Mama… a lot of things happened, I lost passion and love for formal education and I found myself starting one business after the other, im fully fledged ENTREPRENEUR, and im continuing to make the family proud as you would have wished, but then like I said its not about me today…

Sooo tjhe lwena, you suddenly got sick, i only got to see you once while you were sick, we had a brief conversation, next time I hear about you, you were gone… I was shattered, but you daughter Malika took care of me, but she followed you months later and life spiraled DOWNWARD until I found myself, otherwise you taught to be strong and use my mind so I did exactly. Ok before I cry, bye… until we meet again.

5 Most Important Lessons I learned From an Old Man.

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1. As I looked to fence the yard at home, I asked friends and family about someone who can help, got contacts and called few fencers, finally I got someone (an old man) who cut me good deal and we arranged to meet (which happened few hours after the call, VERY IMPRESSIVE FOR A BUSINESSMAN)…

2. We met at home scaled the yard and he charged me. I hate being owed or owing people so I simply paid full amount though he gave me an option to pay deposit and remaining as monthly premiums.. Even though a friend that recommended this old man, he also warned me not to paid full amount to hold something against the old man, to make sure his service is efficient. Well I ignored that, clearly..

3. So while he was busy writing me a receipt (which I found VERY IMPRESSIVE and professional for a self-employed old man.) We had a brief conversation, that’s where I learned that he’s trying to groom his son (whom he said is very indifferent towards the business and incompetent) to take over the business because yena he’s getting old and all that.. (Its very seldom to meet BLACK people that build businesses that would outlive them, so I found it very impressive to learn that he’s grooming his son to take over) and he went on to tell me that he’s been running this business successfully for more than 30 years (ok, 30 years?? Wow!.. But wait why the hell is he still self-employed after 30 years, why hasn’t created a system that would operate itself without him having to be there, he’s an old man he should be resting or handling trivial tasks of the business, but now he’s a heart and soul of the business, so what’s going to happened to the business once he dies? )… At the end of our conversation he assures me that he indeed will deliver efficiently because he can’t afford to discredit his 30 years’ experience with only customer. VERY IMPRESSIVE as well.

4. Ok Fast forward, The yard is fenced but no gates, NO EXPLANATION.. Hah ok! Maybe tomorrow.. Tomorrow is here, the gates are not, even the days after tomorrow. So I called him up to seek clarity… His response was that, they are still busy with the gates… I should expect them on Tuesday (this past Tuesday)… Tuesday is here, No gates, No explanation.. I’m getting frustrated now, so I took it upon myself to call him again to seek clarity… His response again was, they are still busy with the gates, he will communicate with the guys in charge and call me back. Until this morning there was no call from him, so I call him again this morning.. Not to rush him but just to get a clear date in which the gates will be installed because I can’t be in the dark forever about it. ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!.. Lol! This old man GOT ANGRY!!! VERY ANGRY!!.. (As an entrepreneur dealing directly with customers is something close to hell BUT DO NOT EVER, I REPEAT: DO NOT EVER LOSE YOUR COOL, , and having 30 years, he should have learned that he’s allowed to show two emotions in business, excitement and gratitude towards customers..) So he went on to tell me that I’m not the only customer he has and I shouldn’t act like I am (BIG MISTAKE, even if you can million customers, each of them should ALWAYS feel like they are the only customer that matter, I learned this when I started having a large demand for my services and delivery was abit delayed, Number one I had to alert a customer that there will be a minor delay, Number two, I shouldn’t mention that the delay is caused by high volume of demand.) And though I’m the one who called, he hanged up the call on me. I was SHOCKED and HURT!!..

5. I realized that though its important to learn a lot of things through practice in business, but at times one needs to read books and magazines around business because even in his 30+ years EXPERIENCE in business customer service is something that didn’t come naturally to him so he had to learn it by book!.

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